"The mental image of a portly, Welsh father of three huffing and puffing across a steaming hot spring to avoid being cut down by falling ice cubes just made me giggle a little too much. Think Vernon Dursley, rivulets of baby blue lagoon water sluicing off his swollen pelt of a chest, doing his best impression of the boulder from Indiana Jones. 'Get out of my fecking way! Petunia!!!'"
It practically writes itself.