On March 23, 2015, Kate created a profile on Okcupid.

Some 300 opening messages later, she's been on a whopping 15 dates.

Kate likes women. This feeling does not appear to be mutual.

Clearly, she is doing something right.

Miss Demeanor

"Crimes in question: jaywalking, loitering, going one mile above the posted speed limit, throwing out previous owner's mail, having a Sharpie in public, writing wholesome quotes on a bathroom wall with said Sharpie, singing Happy Birthday in public, walking our dogs without a leash, sharing our passwords, connecting to unsecured wifi networks, using fake names on the internet, watching BBC iPlayer without a license, driving in the bus lane, not recycling properly, treason.

Sounds like a solid first date to me."

She asked what activities I had in mind for a "partner in crime," then promptly informed me that all my ideas were stupid. I mean, sure, maybe some of them weren't completely thought out, but she didn't have to shame me for it.

Bitch Please

à la Commode