On March 23, 2015, Kate created a profile on OkCupid.

Some 200 opening messages later, she's been on a whopping 4 dates.

Kate likes women. That feeling does not appear to be mutual.

Clearly, she's doing something right.

Each post is an excerpt of a message this seemingly inexorable self-saboteur has sent, backdated to its original send date.

More of the same is guaranteed.

Miss Calculated

I've heard that at least seven out of every five 11-year-olds are disinterested in fractions. I mean, I've just heard that. I was bored that day and tuned my teacher out, but I assume it's an accurate statistic.

Foreword

Conservative Estimate