On March 23, 2015, Kate created a profile on OkCupid.

Some 200 opening messages later, she's been on a whopping 4 dates.

Kate likes women. That feeling does not appear to be mutual.

Clearly, she's doing something right.

Each post is an excerpt of a message this seemingly inexorable self-saboteur has sent, backdated to its original send date.

More of the same is guaranteed.

Food Court

"Well, my dad's dead, so, THERE! Good luck feeding him that sandwich! But, no, really, please don't try feeding him a sandwich. That would be creepy and digging up a grave is illegal in most Tennessee jurisdictions, so I wouldn't want you being arrested for such a kindhearted yet very terrifying gesture because that would just be a really strange arraignment and flights to Nashville on United are expensive so I can't afford to sit in on the legal proceedings, so, thanks...

But I'll take that sandwich if you're offering."
 

On a typical Friday night, she was "Makin' a sandwich for your dad." Ha!  I totally showed her! Right?

Guys?

Silk Stalkings

Though I Am Partial To Fagales