“You totally should have led with the photo of you sitting on the toilet with a microphone in hand, looking just a tiny bit confused about the fact that you're sitting on the toilet with a microphone in hand... as if some rando reporter just busted down the door for an impromptu interview about the benefits of a high fiber diet.
“Well, always be prepared.”
"Definitely tops the list of worst times to run out of toilet paper. Second worst would be an adorable Shetland Pony munching on the grass outside your window, begging for you to pet it, and there you are... nothing to wipe with. Trapped. Wait, no, don't leave! I'm sure my roommate dropped a sock somewhere. Just give me two minutes, please!
Both are very likely scenarios."