On March 23, 2015, Kate created a profile on OkCupid.

Some 200 opening messages later, she's been on a whopping 4 dates.

Kate likes women. That feeling does not appear to be mutual.

Clearly, she's doing something right.

Each post is an excerpt of a message this seemingly inexorable self-saboteur has sent, backdated to its original send date.

More of the same is guaranteed.

Brass Tacts

"The only problem with you stealing a blue French horn for me is that I'm the sorta girl who's inclined to steal a blue French horn, too. It's mainly a logistical issue. If we couldn't find more than one, we'd have to fight each other for it.

It would be legen... wait for it..."

High Match; No Movement

Killer Reference