On March 23, 2015, Kate created a profile on OkCupid.

Some 200 opening messages later, she's been on a whopping 4 dates.

Kate likes women. That feeling does not appear to be mutual.

Clearly, she's doing something right.

Each post is an excerpt of a message this seemingly inexorable self-saboteur has sent, backdated to its original send date.

More of the same is guaranteed.

'Dat Haas

"There is an inverse correlation between how many avocados I have left, and how often I watch NBC Nightly News at 1:00 AM."

Like Pissing Into The Wind