On March 23, 2015, Kate created a profile on OkCupid.

Some 200 opening messages later, she's been on a whopping 4 dates.

Kate likes women. That feeling does not appear to be mutual.

Clearly, she's doing something right.

Each post is an excerpt of a message this seemingly inexorable self-saboteur has sent, backdated to its original send date.

More of the same is guaranteed.

It Was Well Put Together At Least

"Really good at dad jokes, huh? I guess then I should fire the first shot in this inevitable a pun war. But it will have to be good, of course... got to make a good impression—a fashionable entrance, if you will.

You know what else is a fashionable entrance? A door wearing Prada."

Pitiful

But It's Not Enough, It's Not Enough