On March 23, 2015, Kate created a profile on OkCupid.

Some 200 opening messages later, she's been on a whopping 4 dates.

Kate likes women. That feeling does not appear to be mutual.

Clearly, she's doing something right.

Each post is an excerpt of a message this seemingly inexorable self-saboteur has sent, backdated to its original send date.

More of the same is guaranteed.

Epoch Ending

"Have you ever gazed up at the stars and wondered... what if the Chicxulub asteroid had been sentient? Consider a rock six miles in diameter—the size of Mount Everest—hurtling through space for millions of years, all by its lonesome, fated by the inexorable pull of gravity to one day collide with a planet not yet known as Earth. Would it have suffered from an existential ennui, no other way to spend the tedium of its existence than to ponder its role in the universe, and what it might all mean? I wonder if it knew that there was life here; a vast array of megafauna that had survived and thrived for generations upon generations—the culmination of entire epochs doomed to be destroyed in less time than it takes an eye to blink: ~300 milliseconds, give or take a few. Did it consider the Sauropod, and cry rivulets of ice particle tears beneath the weight of an overwhelming guilt? When it finally struck, did it know it punched a hole in the atmosphere so big that the blackness of space could be seen clear through—a nighttime hole in a daytime sky. And did it know that the last thing that that Sauropod saw would be something of unimaginable, terrifying beauty… and that the poor creature would be dead before that beauty even registered? And did it know that this extinction event would clear the way for the evolution of a species called humans that would one day, in time, invent such things as theatre, and a word to describe the absence of shoes, and some dude named Shane Carruth who really needs to hurry up and get The Modern Ocean into production (because seriously, man, nine years was way too long to wait after Primer)—and that in doing so we’d also develop something called the World Wide Web, with sites that let you receive private messages—and that someone would one day wonder all these things, and put her thoughts to paper for the sole purpose of sending one to say:

But, like, for realsies: Shane Carruth is a goddamn genius."

Figures

Plot Twist