On March 23, 2015, Kate created a profile on OkCupid.

Some 200 opening messages later, she's been on a whopping 4 dates.

Kate likes women. That feeling does not appear to be mutual.

Clearly, she's doing something right.

Each post is an excerpt of a message this seemingly inexorable self-saboteur has sent, backdated to its original send date.

More of the same is guaranteed.

Cold Shoulders

"I swear, it was like 64 degrees this afternoon and I started shivering outside an Arco. I'm from Connecticut! I can't be doing that. We start sweating if the windchill goes above zero! What's next: *not* wearing flip-flops in January. That's crazy talk! 

But, I mean, you're from Buffalo, so, you know how it is. We have reputations to uphold!

(I have brought shame to the Northeast.)"

Just Quidditch While You're Ahead

Nothing Came To Mind