On March 23, 2015, Kate created a profile on OkCupid.

Some 200 opening messages later, she's been on a whopping 4 dates.

Kate likes women. That feeling does not appear to be mutual.

Clearly, she's doing something right.

Each post is an excerpt of a message this seemingly inexorable self-saboteur has sent, backdated to its original send date.

More of the same is guaranteed.

Such Notions Are Beneath Me

"This is the silliest thing, but... I once had a friend who would pronounce Sublime as two distinct words: Sub•Lime. And now I can't see a reference to that band anymore without picturing a lime and wondering what in god's name is below it. A table? A chinchilla? The beveled edge of a bathroom sink in a Doubletree by Hilton? These are life's most burning questions."

Root Of All Evil

She Had The Goods