On March 23, 2015, Kate created a profile on OkCupid.

Some 200 opening messages later, she's been on a whopping 4 dates.

Kate likes women. That feeling does not appear to be mutual.

Clearly, she's doing something right.

Each post is an excerpt of a message this seemingly inexorable self-saboteur has sent, backdated to its original send date.

More of the same is guaranteed.

Charming

"Expelliarmus!"

Idk, she was a cute Harry Potter fan and she seemed a bit shy. I thought maybe it would disarm her.

Bush League

I'm Not A Big Fan Of Chain Stores Like Abercrombie Or Banana Republic, But I Don't Mind The Gap