On March 23, 2015, Kate created a profile on OkCupid.

Some 200 opening messages later, she's been on a whopping 4 dates.

Kate likes women. That feeling does not appear to be mutual.

Clearly, she's doing something right.

Each post is an excerpt of a message this seemingly inexorable self-saboteur has sent, backdated to its original send date.

More of the same is guaranteed.

Bush League

Do you ever deadpan a joke that's so Tanami Desert dry, you have to remind the person you're being sarcastic?

Me neither.

From the Bumble app.  An Australian girl whose tastes included baking and dry humor.

I did not whet her appetite.

Meat Cute