On March 23, 2015, Kate created a profile on OkCupid.

Some 200 opening messages later, she's been on a whopping 4 dates.

Kate likes women. That feeling does not appear to be mutual.

Clearly, she's doing something right.

Each post is an excerpt of a message this seemingly inexorable self-saboteur has sent, backdated to its original send date.

More of the same is guaranteed.

She Scrubbed Her Account Shortly Thereafter

"Good at getting people out of sticky situations, huh? You're not like secretly a bottle of Goo Gone or something? (No judgement if you are.)"

We Must Have A Musical Joke

She Said With Sheepish Grin