On March 23, 2015, Kate created a profile on OkCupid.

Some 200 opening messages later, she's been on a whopping 4 dates.

Kate likes women. That feeling does not appear to be mutual.

Clearly, she's doing something right.

Each post is an excerpt of a message this seemingly inexorable self-saboteur has sent, backdated to its original send date.

More of the same is guaranteed.

Sadly, No Net Change

"How does one eat Oreos with a silly straw? And does the coffee aid with you pooping money? I had to ask, because it's an intriguing thing to put in a profile. (Elaborate?) Ideally it would be paper money, neatly rolled. Or so I'd assume. I've never given this much thought before. I'd feel like 50¢ pieces would definitely hurt, so that's a no-go. The diameter is all wrong. And pennies would just get frustrating after a while, and have the potential to become useless if the Department of the Treasury decide to retire them."

OCD

Feel Free To Take A Gander